A.P.B. for C.J.M.

Have you seen this man? 10 days without a post. Very suspicous.

Anyone with knowledge as to his whereabouts should contact The Hubbub immediately, or at least let him know that we were asking about him.



This is the last known image of CJM and was recorded during an infamous episode many years ago, now referred to only as "The Great Shame" by family and friends.

While engaged in illicit horseplay on a New York Harbor navigational buoy, CJM's shorts were painfully snagged on a mooring hook. The resulting Uber-wedgie caused CJM to expulse a shriek that deafened nearby marine mammals and the photographer who took this picture.

Tragically, due to the distorted speech of the now deaf photographer, when the incident was phoned into 911, rather than hearing that CJM had been painfully snagged on a mooring hook, it was erroneously reported that CJM had been painfully shagged by a Moorish hooker, resulting in the mass arrest of Arab prostitutes throughout the city, and forcing CJM to subsist on his own sweat for six days, dangling from a hook and awaiting rescue, as the mistake was sorted out.

Sadly, CJM is still a pariah from this incident in the Arab-American community, and currently "waiting out" a fatwa.

Let's hope we don't have reason to be concerned.