Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Divorcing
Reuters has reported that ex-Beatle Paul McCartney has announced his divorce from his wife of four years, model and activist Heather Mills.
It began last Saturday night when Ms. Mills was waiting to meet her husband at a restaurant in London and struck up a conversation with one of her favorite TV actresses. Mills explained, " I was just telling her how much I loved Murder, She Wrote when she went crazy and attacked me!"
By the time the police arrived Sir Paul was found to be beating her senseless with her own leg, screaming, "For the last time I'm not Angela Lansbury you stupid gimp!"
Reached for comment at his cell McCartney said," You tell Captain Ahab that this ship is sailing and she won't get a dime out of me! We signed a pre-nup! Tell that to her lawyers! She hasn't got a leg to stand on!"
Ms. Mills is in hospital recovering. She told a reporter this morning, " I think she hit me with bedknobs AND broomsticks!!"
When informed that it was indeed her husband Paul McCartney who savaged her, Mills replied, "Paul McCartney? Who's that? I'm not married to Paul McCartney. I'm married to Droopy Dog. I always wanted to marry a star. And he cheers me up so."
It began last Saturday night when Ms. Mills was waiting to meet her husband at a restaurant in London and struck up a conversation with one of her favorite TV actresses. Mills explained, " I was just telling her how much I loved Murder, She Wrote when she went crazy and attacked me!"
By the time the police arrived Sir Paul was found to be beating her senseless with her own leg, screaming, "For the last time I'm not Angela Lansbury you stupid gimp!"
Reached for comment at his cell McCartney said," You tell Captain Ahab that this ship is sailing and she won't get a dime out of me! We signed a pre-nup! Tell that to her lawyers! She hasn't got a leg to stand on!"
Ms. Mills is in hospital recovering. She told a reporter this morning, " I think she hit me with bedknobs AND broomsticks!!"
When informed that it was indeed her husband Paul McCartney who savaged her, Mills replied, "Paul McCartney? Who's that? I'm not married to Paul McCartney. I'm married to Droopy Dog. I always wanted to marry a star. And he cheers me up so."
posted by smelly at 7:17 PM
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5 Comments:
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Smelly!
For as long as I've known you, you've had this perverse and inexplicable fascination with Angela Landsbury and crime solving super heroes. For the last time, THIS is NOT Angela Landsbury! And for the record, your favorite TV actress has always been Lauren Graham of the WB's Gilmore Girls. Oh wait...that's right...Graham's MY favorite TV actress! Nevermind. Your favorite has always been Landsbury.
(And by the way, there was no pre-nup!)
[Sorry for all the deleted Comments; took some time to get the links right.]
Is Pete Best still married to the same girl?
No pre-nup!? Ah, when she gets to court she still won't have a leg to stand on.
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