What I have Learned from Drinking
Cliffy's right on this one. I have gained much wisdom over the years while drinking. Here's just a few nuggets I have picked up while propped on a bar stoool:
- People are offended by your urine, be thoughtful about where you leave it.
- There is a fine line between friendly eye contact and leering.
- Cheese is what seperates us from the animals.
- When Channel surfing, I live by one credo: See Nazis? Stop!
- No one wants to see your appendix scar.
- I have a lovely singing voice!
- Beer and batting cages don't mix.
- I am never going to be the designated driver; I know I say I will, but I won't.
- Anything with less than 80 proof that has a twist-off cap is shite!
- Your bosses wife is never "up for it," even though she has been sending signals to you all damn night.
There are many more, most having to do with robot bartenders that you don't have to tip, and who aren't always eyeballing you, but I'd like to hear about your oiled up epiphanies.
What have you learned from drinking?
- People are offended by your urine, be thoughtful about where you leave it.
- There is a fine line between friendly eye contact and leering.
- Cheese is what seperates us from the animals.
- When Channel surfing, I live by one credo: See Nazis? Stop!
- No one wants to see your appendix scar.
- I have a lovely singing voice!
- Beer and batting cages don't mix.
- I am never going to be the designated driver; I know I say I will, but I won't.
- Anything with less than 80 proof that has a twist-off cap is shite!
- Your bosses wife is never "up for it," even though she has been sending signals to you all damn night.
There are many more, most having to do with robot bartenders that you don't have to tip, and who aren't always eyeballing you, but I'd like to hear about your oiled up epiphanies.
What have you learned from drinking?
posted by Slag at 11:29 AM
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4 Comments:
After a night of drinking in the late 80s at the Seaport I took the 2 train towards home, but fell asleep. I woke up in the Bronx at the Jackson Avenue stop at 3AM. All that alcohol in my bloodstream (combined with a little adrenalin) enabled me to quickly determine how to return back to Manhattan: run like Hell down the stairs on that elevated 2 line, cross the street, and run up the stairs to the downtown 2 platform. I waited a long time for that downtrain to show up and I did not fall asleep on the ride back.
I find that when I drink and see pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker on TV or in a magazine, she almost looks attractive. Almost.
When you are on the wagon - if you ever are - I would recommend looking at pictures of Lauren Graham on TV or in a magazine.
That's not Lauren Graham!!
That's a very young Angela Lansbury when she was in that short-lived fifties action show
"Invisible Plane, She Flew"
And as I recall, she was hotter than Lou Ferrigno , especially when I drank.
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