Hollywood, it's all a sham folks.

And Halle Berry has more vericose veins than the Santa Monica Freeway has on and off ramps. Age lines, sags, crows feet, halitosis, nose hair. It's amazing what makeup can do. And she smells something awful. No, it's all illusion out here. The beautiful people? Hell, they ain't here, I'll tell you that. Real people, that's beautiful. Like them folks in central Australia, the Aborigines. Aw shit, my glass is empty. Enough of this blog spiel, I gotta memorize some lines. Now where'd I put that bottle dammit?

-Posted by Billy Bob Thornton, my former alter ego.