Click Here...

CLICK HERE!

Hangover gene identified...

Everything you always wanted to know about ALDH2, and its mutant Asian form.

"Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it." William James (writer/philosopher)

William James

Another Blatant Ripoff From The Hubbub

The Hubbub May 1994.................... .........fark.com May 23, 2006

Newark's own...

12,568+ Beer Caps by Nation

Wes Anderson American Express Ad...

Click Here

SNAKEMONKEY...

Next to SNAKEMONKEY (see also) studio on Avenue A...

is a bar with this sign in the window:

In The 50 Greatest Beers in the World: An Expert's Ranking of the Very Best, author Stuart A. Kallen focuses on the 50 beers you are likely to find nearly anywhere. The number one beer listed by Kallen: Delirium Tremens. This is what he wrote about the 8.5% alcohol by volume Belgian tripple:

"The name Delirium Tremens speaks for itself. Words simply cannot describe the intricate flavor of this beer - but that won't stop me from trying. The color is golden and the head creamy and light. The first sip warms my throat and belly like an old woodstove does a log cabin. It's lightly hopped and surprisingly malty for such an airy, sunshiny beer. The aftertaste is fruity, almost cherry. A warming alcoholic glow works its way down the throat to the stomach. This beer must be sipped slowly so you can revel in each sweet drop. Delirium Tremens has a big body, a rich mouth feel, and a long, sweet aftertaste."

While we can patriotically applaud the beers of Thomas Jefferson and Samuel Adams, getting our hands on a case of this import is a worthy and noble goal.

[Thank God for this keyboard. If I had had to write this post out longhand! I can't imagine it would even be legible, what with these DAMN shaking hands of mine!!!]

Heh.
Heh Again!

Hubbub "Sopranos" Line of the Week

Rosalie Aprile to Carmella Soprano as they are checking out of the Paris Marriott, "Shit, the Toulouse Lautrec placemats!"

Second place: Phil Leotardo to his sister, regarding her dead, gay, mobster husband Vito, "I loved him like a brother-in-law."



Last week's winner: Vito to his short order cook boyfriend, "I love you, Johnnycakes."

Please Note: Poe has been dead for well over 25 years...

What Is the Best Work of American Fiction of the Last 25 Years?

Even with a detachable raven...still not as bad as a kick in the head!

On October 3, 1849, Edgar Allen Poe was found on the streets of Baltimore, delirious, in great distress, and in need of immediate assistance. He was taken to the Washington College Hospital, where he died early on the morning of October 7. The precise cause of Poe's death is disputed. Dr. J. E. Snodgrass, an acquaintance of Poe who was among those who saw him in his last days, was convinced that Poe died as a result of alcoholism and did a great deal to popularize this interpretation of the events.

Well into the early 21st century opportunists and satirists continue to exploit Poe's life and death. While some opportunists sell his likeness in the form of stuffed dolls manufactured by underpaid Chinese laborers, it is the satirists who truly debase this early American practitioner of the short story, making light of the very alcoholism that contributed to his tragic death through the brewing and personal consumption of Poekicker's Pale Ale:

Poe understood this human pathology quite well when he remarked:
"To vilify a great man is the readiest way in which a little man can himself attain greatness."
[Surely The Hubbub is nothing more than a collection of little men.]

Net Neutrality Debate

Hubbub editors engage in a lively debate on Net Neutrality.

KOStalwart: As usual, the federal government is trying to bully the little guy. This is huge!...I know, so are a lot of other things these days, but this is way up there right in the mix. And they're voting on it this week.

http://www.slate.com/id/2140850
http://savetheinternet.com/=faq

"Adam Green, MoveOn.org Civic Action"
wrote:

Dear MoveOn blogger,
The House of Representatives will soon vote on whether or not to preserve Internet freedom--and our fight to protect Network Neutrality is gaining huge momentum.

The SavetheInternet.com Coalition now has 524 member organizations, 637,386 petition signatures to Congress, 3,251 blog links, and 5,634 MySpace friends. We will only win this fight if the public is mobilized, Congress is bombarded from all angles, and word spreads around the Internet like prairie fire.

Here are some resources to help you blog today about the current threat to Internet freedom:
* MoveOn's blogger resource page is full of facts and links to help you inform people about Net Neutrality: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1771 ;
* MoveOn member Mari Fetzer designed a FANTASTIC image with links to 5 things people can do today to preserve Internet freedom. The coding is available at the bottom of: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1769
* Several fun videos are now on the SavetheInternet.com Coalition website, including a great Halo mimick on Net Neutrality: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1770
* Comedy site "Ask A Ninja" has a unique perspective on Net Neutrality: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1768

Please be sure to include a link to the petition in any posting, and use our blogger resource page to send us your post!

Also included on our blogger resource page is a comment box where you can share your ideas on how thousands of MoveOn blog owners and blog users can work together to maximize our effectiveness in the blogosphere. Your advice will be very valuable as we think about ways to empower MoveOn members to make waves in the blogosphere.

Thanks for all you do.

--Adam Green, Noah T. Winer, and the MoveOn.org
Civic Action team, Thursday, May 11th, 2006


Response: Point #1
Slag: In my opinion, Net Neutrality is a smoke-screen for giant billionaire internet companies like Google and eBay.

KOStalwart: In fact, Net Neutrality has been a fundamental part of the Internet since its inception.

Slag: This may be true, but that doesn't make up for the fact that your stupid and of low moral character (Morrissey Rules of Debate [ROD] rule #1) .

Response: Point #2
Slag: Google, eBay and their insanely wealthy counterparts should pay a premium for prioritized traffic to their sites.

KOStalwart: Net Neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's. Yes, there are sites that make oodles of dough. I don't see how lobbying for bad legislation to make the telecom companies richer in the short term, while screwing information providers and information seekers, would solve that particular "problem".

Slag: Listen here, Snape, your wrong, admit it. (ROD #2).

Response: Point #3
Slag: These big wealthy internet companies are trying to pass off Net Neutrality as a freedom of speech or censorship issue, it's not, it's a commerce and free enterprise issue.

KOStalwart: It's the wealthy telecom companies that are trying to pass off Net Neutrality as something new and as anti-free enterprise. It's just a power play on their part.

Slag: Allowing telecoms to charge a premium for some net traffic would solve the AIDS crisis in Africa (ROD #3).

Response: Point #4
Slag: Net Neutrality disproportionately shifts the cost for the internet's maintenance and growth to the individual consumer and away from the those who profit most from it.

KOStalwart: Doing away with Net Neutrality would shift the cost to charities, nonprofits, advocacy groups, bloggers, startups, entrepeneurs, small businesses, etc. The individual consumer pays monthly fees; when the telecom and cable companies aren't making a reasonable profit they raise the price. Do you want large corporations deciding what you can access and how fast you can access different sites?

Slag: Why are you telling me this, I never mentioned Net Neutrality to you? (ROD #4).


Response: Point #5
Slag: And most importantly, you, or Goggle, are free at anytime buy your internet services from another provider if your not happy with their services or their fees. Competition and choice between AT&T, MCI, Sprint, Verizon, Quest and all the other telecoms (not to mention the cable companies) will weed out the bad providers and determine the best product for the consumer, just like it does in every other aspect of the economy. Free enterprise works if you let it.

KOStalwart: The best product for the consumer is ALL Internet information. That is what we now have (we also have free enterprise which will continue working if we don't let the telecoms and cable companies successfully lobby to change the current Net Neutrality system for only their own profit.) Less than being equally able to access all internet information would be censorship... and would be a worse product.

Slag: All the points you have raised are ridiculous and I refuse to comment further on the basis that it is a waste of my time (ROD #5).


Response: Point #6
Slag: Net Neutrality is a commie idea.

KOStalwart: If it's such a bad "commie" idea, how come nobody has complained about it before this recent massive lobbying effort by the giant telecom corporations to get rid of it? I only brought up this legislative agenda because we've started this blog thing together and figure we could help fight against censorship of ourselves.

This is from last week's NY Times editorial: "Net Neutrality keeps the Internet democratic.... One of the Internet's great strengths is that a single blogger or a small political group can inexpensively create a web page that is just as accessible to the world as Microsoft's home page. But this democratic Internet would be in danger if the companies that deliver Internet service changed the rules so that Web sites that pay them money would be easily accessible, while little-guy sites would be harder to access and slower to navigate. Providers could also block access to sites they do not like."

This is not a couple of bookstores on 5th Avenue. This is about at least partially blocking sections of the information superhighway. Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate the Internet, calls it "the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane."

Slag: I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention, could you repeat that last part? (ROD #8).

Ax Greggy Column

Greggy is the renown sage offering free personal advice, discernment and encouragement to those troubled souls roaming The Hubbub. Just ax Greggy today, let the hurt out and let the healing begin.

Available in Hardcover: 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them

Number 13 is Blogger!
(It's True!)

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Divorcing

Reuters has reported that ex-Beatle Paul McCartney has announced his divorce from his wife of four years, model and activist Heather Mills.
It began last Saturday night when Ms. Mills was waiting to meet her husband at a restaurant in London and struck up a conversation with one of her favorite TV actresses. Mills explained, " I was just telling her how much I loved Murder, She Wrote when she went crazy and attacked me!"
By the time the police arrived Sir Paul was found to be beating her senseless with her own leg, screaming, "For the last time I'm not Angela Lansbury you stupid gimp!"
Reached for comment at his cell McCartney said," You tell Captain Ahab that this ship is sailing and she won't get a dime out of me! We signed a pre-nup! Tell that to her lawyers! She hasn't got a leg to stand on!"
Ms. Mills is in hospital recovering. She told a reporter this morning, " I think she hit me with bedknobs AND broomsticks!!"
When informed that it was indeed her husband Paul McCartney who savaged her, Mills replied, "Paul McCartney? Who's that? I'm not married to Paul McCartney. I'm married to Droopy Dog. I always wanted to marry a star. And he cheers me up so."

Star Trek 2.0

From our friend Gaws, "Spock seems to be a part of the bub, if it fits please
add to the bub. I"m just to lazy to figure how to post it."

Star Trek 2.0

New York State of...

New York State Of Mind
Some folks like to get away
Take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to Miami Beach
Or to Hollywood
But I'm talking a Greyhound
On the Hudson River Line
I'm in a New York state of mind
(from Billy Joel's Turnstiles album)

No Worries...

The temperature of burning gasoline: 1500 degrees. At 1400 degrees, fiberglass melts. No Worries. Australian slang for "you're welcome" or "no problem." I had used the expression since that '93 trip to Sydney and Queensland, and the Rock in the center. I preferred the latter interpretation: a boat far away from work, the city, the stress...no problems...No Worries. Except for the docking fees, storage, maintenance, fuel, yacht club dues, insurance, and that damn sandbar that took out the prop. It was a comprehensive policy wasn't it? No Worries. From the dock I stared vacantly at the name on the transom. I pulled the match head slowly across the striking strip, the yellow flame flared wide then settled into a timid glow. I cupped my hand to light the cigarette, drawing in a few quick breaths to bring the tobacco tip to a red hot glow. I inhaled once and then let my hand fall to the side, cigarette dangling. I stared at the boat and exhaled. The deductible's probably more than the new prop. I pulled the cigarette back to my lips, took one last drag, then threw it like a dart. Into the bay. I'll call the insurance guy tomorrow about that prop. No Worries.

The Blockbuster Movie Event of 2006

Movie trailer:
Scene: Crowded Airplane just after takeoff,very hot and stuffy

VOICEOVER: Just once in a lifetime will you see a movie that will leave you shaking in fear.......From the makers of "Snakes on a Plane"

Foreground shot;Middle-aged couple
Husband: It will be so nice to finally get to Cabo...
Wife: Yes dear, you need to relax. You know what the doctor said, some real R and R or you'll really have that nervous breakdown for sure.
Husband: Yeah I'm just gonna enjoy the peace at our resort. What's it called?
Wife: Los Palacios

Enter Disheveled Drunken Man #1 from out of an aisle baggage closet singing loudly
"Got no time for the corner boys..."

The Beaver: Wally that man up there smells.
Wally: I know, Beav, just hold your nose.

Husband: He looks very familiar. I wish he'd shut up.

Drunken Disheveled Man #1 (screaming in the aisle): "Sixteen Shells from a Thirty Ought Six!!!

Husband: Oh no it can't be... Oh no
Wife: What is it dear?

Drunken Disheveled Man #1: I'm gonna whiddle you down to kindlin' Sing you motherfuckers or I'll shit right here! Hey waitress Gemme a drink already it's a fuckin four hour flight!!

Husband: Oh no. I'm doomed.
Wife: What? I'll just get him to shush
Husband: Don't you see what's happening? We've got...

"TOM WAITS ON A PLANE!!!!"

Wife: AAAAAAAAAH!!!

Voiceover: This summer see the movie that is to air travel what Jaws was to surfing..
it's.....

"TOM WAITS ON A PLANE!!!"

Drunken Disheveled Man #1 (Tom Waits stumbling in the aisle): I'm the Sun God motherfuckers! Roll your bones Roll your bones!!!! Dance or I'll....bloooeeaaaakkkkkk!

The Beaver: Wally,Why didn't that man use the barf bag the nice airline gives us?
Wally: I don't know, Beav, but I hope that other guy never takes off his hat.

Husband (curled and tense): Help me I'm losing it
Wife: It's OK take deep breaths and cover your eyes and ears.

Tom Waits: Bartender!!!

Husband: I can still hear him!!
Wife: Breath honey breath. Oh and leave your hat on

Suddenly Drunken Disheveled Man #2 stumbles out of the bathroom
Drunken Disheveled Man #2: Hey Tommy boy, are we staying at Las Palacio again? I got the tequila!! Ha Ha cough cough cough
Tom Waits: Keith fucking Richards, you're late again!!!!Ha Ha cough cough

Husband: Did he say Las Palacio??
Wife: Oh God No!!!

Voiceover: You'll never be the same after a few hours of...

"TOM WAITS ON A PLANE!!!!"

Husband and Wife: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

If Banks Were Musicians, Goldman Sachs Would Be The Rolling Stones

2006-05-11 19:11 (New York)

May 12 (Bloomberg) -- Investment banks have personalities that are reflected in how they go about their business and how their peers view them. Bands express their character traits through the music they make and the company they keep. What happens when you match banks with musicians?

1) Goldman Sachs = The Rolling Stones

Goldman Sachs Group Inc. occupies an odd position in the investment-banking pantheon. The world's No. 1 securities firm by market value is unloved by its peers and universally regarded as arrogant. Its prodigious appetite for hard work and its unrivaled profit-generating abilities arouse jealousy and admiration in equal measure.

The Rolling Stones would embrace Goldman's aim of being "long-term greedy." No one ever accused Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of paying anything less than full attention to the bottom line.

2) Citigroup = Ozzy Osbourne
3) Deutsche Bank = Fleetwood Mac
4) JPMorgan = Radiohead
5) Barclays Capital = Oasis
6) Morgan Stanley = Coldplay
7) Merrill Lynch = Madonna
8) HSBC = any boyband
9) UBS = Phil Collins
10) Commerzbank = David Hasselhoff

Our Posting-addicted Friend CJM Has a Good Point...

Who is the third greatest honorary Poekicker?

The list of honorary Poekickers includes:
1. John Lennon (for obvious reasons)
2. Keith Richards (because he is fucking Keith Richards, man)

and well that's it. Vote for #3! No list of candidates, no criteria, just submit your vote.

(No ballot stuffing CJM!)

Just in case, who's the third greatest honorary Poekicker?

Keith Richards in healthier days.

Der heutige Moment des Zens...

Click Here

Waiting for Godot...

Is Godot a Trinity?
Or are the above Vladimir, Estragon and Pozzo, and are they also waiting for Godot?

Vladimir: Well, shall we post?

Estragon: Yes, let's post.

They do not post.

Do I Have To Beg For It?

"Pray tell, Slag, if Keith Richards is the second greatest honorary Poekicker of all-time, who then is the greatest?"

Well, here is a little clue for you all (and no Jackie, it's not Paul).

The Beatles - I Am the Walrus

The second greatest honorary Poekicker of all-time undergoes surgery

Rolling Stone : Keith Richards Undergoes Surgery




















...and amazingly it's not for lung cancer.

The poetic sounds of...

That sound?
How you too can audioblog.

...on the 5th day of May

Isis
Such a post had to be made (intervention or no intervention).

Hubbub Poetry: ELEUTHEROMANIA

Strapped to the slouch of judgmental tongues,
Nature becomes a segue back
To the chair's room,
............Around which diverse thoughts collide
In manic imperfection.

Less complex than the mind
Is that which leaves the senses
Unhindered by past pain,
Denying every man's greed
To better the image of what need be
In place of ego,
Whose fall from fashion is long overdue.
That which survives
Beyond the will of
Untruth is only habit.
We enhance goodness
On a gray cloud floating beyond understanding
But within the grasp of something else,
Or so someone seems to feel

Thinking becomes obsolete in his world.

His goal is measured in unfinished futures
Tossed away toward the beauty
Of one soul adventure.
It is his.
And everything spent
In protecting another's projected image
Is taken from the persohal foundation
Of a crumbling universe.

The choice is of extremes -
Reaching for a fabric
Which changes texture not through need
But through want.
An elusive calm,
An island of a conscious realm
That excites without symptoms,
Stalks itself without explanation,
Bending with the wind,
Groping for a greater sanity outside the home.


K. O'Neill


This poem originally appeared in The Hubbub vol. 1, October 1992

Now it bubbles up from the bottom...

We're definitely at the bottom, when do we start bubbling?
For clarification: Click Here

My Hubbub Diary - Day 3...

I checked out the Hubbub again this evening. I had had a few beers earlier - quite a few beers - at the Old Castle with Joe M, now of Montana. As for fresh material from new contributors? Same old, same old. But what was that sound? That gasping? That faint, raspy voice coming from my audio card? Was it... The Hubbub trying to...breathe a little, trying to...take "Hubbub shape?!" No. It was my own damn breathing. I had momentarily passed out in my computer chair; my own snoring had woken me up. How long was I out? Should I hit the refresh button? Oh, nevermind. I'll check again tomorrow for new posts.

Received an interesting email today, a "warning" of sorts...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2006 12:37:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: K***n *'****l <**_stalwart@*******.com>
Subject: intervention
To: N*** M***

cjm,

The Hubbub is not an extension of Mack's Attic.
Let it breathe a little, and take Hubbub shape.

KO
TK
MK


I like the Sam Adams vid.

CJM response: My only question is: does the Hubbub need mouth-to-mouth?
See: Checking Breathing video

Hubbub Poetry: I SING THE SELF DIDACTIC

(A celebration of an American Literature teacher)

From out of papered aisles of genius and drivel,
Among masses, sometimes one only speaking both,
I hear it.
Blue and black, the song didactic.
Head-open sky, awashed by light and Black as bored when not read.
I hear it.

Along distant breadths of books and time carried.
Carried, not needlessly, to half-seen panoramas
Of puritans with knots fastened to breakneck decay,
Peering and denying, prying, prying and praying,
Praying, praying, down.

Carried to mountains thick, along the trails ghosted
By trees who have stood above hunters and their dogs,
And watched as they grew sleepily older Above their fingered roots.
While the surrounding countryside celebrated birth.

Carried on the low wail of the song passing through
Cracks of a final dark stone placed carefully beyond.
Leaving behind silence but for the mimicking mock
Of a certain, seated bird, stealing hope with just a word.

But the song, ever unfettered, rises and rushes reckless.
Sirening past ashes, eggs, and autos,
Dusting its wake with echos of wounds that sometimes
Scar, or kill, or even at moments inspire.
Inspire to settle in the dreamy green warmth
Of remembered soft words and whispers.
The song surrounds the sound of sounds Not gone but chanced to be heard.
Words of notes in old flames, old sports, age-old games.

And when at last the bell joins the song
It reaches again the aisles of life and promise,
Who change the key, shuffling knowingly out,
Harmony of vision forward.

These last carriers of sound and sight so bright
My song can only at best half-see...
For they are now, as ever, singers
Of newer, better songs...


M. Kelly


This poem originally appeared in The Hubbub vol. 1, October 1992

My Hubbub Diary - Day 2...

Checked out The Hubbub today. Again, no posts from any new Contributors. I was disappointed once more. I decided to wait 10 minutes to see if any new posts came in. Then I realized I needed to hit the refresh button. I hit the refresh button. Still no new posts. Hmmmm. I decided to make a sandwich. I will check again tomorrow for new posts.

This may kill blogging...

Keyboard may be filthier than toilet seat
2006-05-03 12:10 (New York)

MORRIS PLAINS, N.J., May 3 (UPI) -- A list of germ-laden places -- including the computer keyboard -- in the average person's life by the maker of a hand sanitizer is of no comfort to misophobics.In its "99 Places Where You Need to Watch Out for Germs," the makers of Purell Hand Sanitizer warn that computer keyboards could be filthier than a public toilet seat."Most people probably think they have a good idea of common germy places, but when they check this list, I think they'll be surprised to learn of other grimy places or things where they can pick up germs that may make them sick," said Dr. Qing Li, Director of Dermatology at Pfizer Consumer Healthcare.The list, available online at purell.com, lists telephones and handsets, cash, books, barbells and ATM keypads as places where germs are waiting to attach themselves to a human hand.Dr. Charles Gerba, professor of environmental microbiology at the University of Arizona offered a surprise revelation."In tests I have conducted, I have found that portable toilets actually have fewer germs by far than outdoor playground equipment, escalator handrails, shopping cart handles and picnic tables," he said.

Classic Hubbub (from Vol. 1 No.1): EXPRESSIVE ARRANGEMENT OF WORDS AND PUNCTUATION, 2

Original Title: Ed Nestor Already Wrote This

By K. O'Neill

John Nickles has a friend named Ed Nestor who already wrote everything. Everything! Even this. When Ed caught me surreptitiously rummaging through his prodigious archives he stopped me, and calmly said, "Don't waste time, it's all there." He proceeded to unveil August Wilson's next play, and Sam Shepard's, and even John Kennedy Toole's next novel had Mr. Toole not killed himself. He had one entire room devoted to Dostoevsky: his view, Muslim, Atheist, Western Catholic, and even English translated into Russian, with one shelf for Dostoevsky-had-he-done-hack-romance-novels. I was nearly convinced that he had indeed already written everything as soon as he showed me the unauthorized biography of Bob Hope (which would come out after Mr. Hope's death, of course written by a different author), entitled THERE IS NO HOPE. Ed had already predicted who would be the next Nostradamus and had already written everything for him.

"My don't you make yourself known?" I asked him. "You would be the richest, most famous person who has ever lived."

"Have you ever heard the concept of having a monkey type away at a typewriter for millions of years and all the works of literature will be written?" he asked.

"You mean you come from a long line of monkeys?"

"Don't we all?" he answered.

"Who have participated in an experiment on indiscriminate typing?"

"Yes, and we are only several hundred away from proving scientifically that anybody who has any kind of [problem at all in life need only to type away for a few hundred years for the answer!"

"But what good would that do?"

"Excuse me, I have to do. It is time to type."

"But...but...you've already..."

"Here take this with you," he said and handed me this piece of paper you now read with the title EXPRESSIVE ARRANGEMENT OF WORDS AND PUNCTUATIONS, 2 (original title: ED NESTOR ALREADY WROTE THIS) under the pseudonym Kevin O'Neill, and it was this story, this arrangement, verbatim.

Follow her example, we'll have a book deal by fall...

Watch Sandi Thom's video: I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker
See also: The girl who got a recording contract playing nightly over her webcam

Unrelated:
One of the top 3 unsigned bands in Nashville (give Sugardaddy a listen)

My Hubbub Diary - Day 1...

Checked out The Hubbub today. No new posts. I was disappointed. I noted that listed Contributors Stalwart and MJM had not posted any original content yet. I thought, such a waste of creative talent, those two. I also noted that MK, a creative singer/songwriter had yet to even establish a Blogger.com user ID so as to become a listed Contributor. I thought, such a waste of creative talent, that one. I will check the site again tomorrow. I hope I will find new and entertaining posts then.