Unfortunately, it's non-alcoholic...

and I'm sure it costs more than $2 a bottle (even by the case!)

A War Protester with the perfect energy policy...

Canada, our feckless neighbor to the north, has the world's 2nd largest oil reserves (when you count the oil sands in Alberta). Canada's population is 33 million, a little more than 10% of that of the United States. Their military? Dwarfed by the size of just our National Guard. What am I suggesting? You got it! And a quarter of Canada's population resides in Quebec, a french speaking province: we can thus expect immediate capitulation and surrender by the Quebecers. The rest of Canada? We could probably take Toronto, Ottawa and Vancouver in 36 hours; we'd basically control the country at that point, and all the oil sands!! More importantly, the playbook for the invasion has already been written, and by a notorious anti-war liberal! How ironic! I suggest "Operation Great White North" begin on July 1st (Canada Day, the Canucks' version of our July 4th). Nobody ever expects to be invaded on a national holiday, and best yet, it falls on a weekend this year!

The Hubbub Pub Crawl Challenge

CJM treated us today to a glorious tour of (mostly) historic and notable pubs and bars in Lower Manhattan. Only one thing was missing, the pints.

Therefore, today the challenge goes out. Who will be the first to drink a pint at each stop on the CJM Pub Crawl?

Of course, there will be no penalty for skipping the frenchy wine bar, or Rubyfruit, which I just have to believe is a gay bar.

The winner will be named an Honorary Poekicker (if you aren't one all ready) and be granted unlimited posting rights on The Hubbub for one month (if you don't have them already).

The crawl consists of:

1. Pete's Tavern
2. Old Town Bar
3. Tavern on Jane
4. Paris Commune Rouge Wine Bar (no penalty for skipping)
   
5. White Horse Tavern (double points if you yank that Coors Light sign down)
   
6. Rubyfruit (if you drink here your gay)
7. Blue Mill Tavern
8. Chumley's
9. Lederhosen (a. if you wear lederhosen while drinking here you will be given 3 bonus points; b. unfortunately you will also be deducted 5 points for being gay)
10. Barrow Street Ale House
11. Boxer's
12. Josie Woods Pub
13. Grassroots Tavern
14. Bull McCabe's
15. Coyotes Ugly (ladies you will recieve 5 bonus points for dancing on the bar, gentlemen see 9b.)
    

Submit your receipts to poekicker@gmail.com

Good luck to all. Let the crawl begin!

Pub Crawl (so to speak): Took a photo of every pub we walked by on an afternoon stroll in NYC...

"Pub Crawl" Route Map (Large Version)
15 Pub Photos (plus some other stuff)

What's the secret, Max?

Mr. Blume pulls up in a brand new black Bentley.
MAX: Mr. Blume!
Max goes over to Mr. Blume's car.
MAX: It's Max Fischer.
MR. BLUME (weary): Hi, Max.
They shake hands through the open car window.
MAX: How's the concrete business?
MR. BLUME: Oh, I don't know. By the time you hit 45 you've been f***ed over so many times you don't really care anymore.
MAX: I'm sorry to hear that.
Mr. Blume sighs deeply. He stares out the windshield.
MR. BLUME: What's the secret, Max?
MAX: The secret?
MR. BLUME: Yeah. You look like you've got it all figured out.
MAX (pause): I don't know. I think you just gotta find something you love to do, then do it for the rest of your life.
(shrugs) For me, it's going to Rushmore.
Max looks very serious. Mr. Blume smiles and nods.

She's my Rushmore, Max

Declaration of Independence...

Click Here
The above link is in rebuttal to this previous Hubbub post.

Why have we not heard from Prophet...

Mahoney, (Peace be upon him)?

Stalwart! Are you on...

This One or This One

An Important Message from the Chairman of the Editorial Board...

Click Here then click on Play Message

Has anybody noticed this is my 8th post since my self-declared "Last Post" post?

And furthermore, has anybody really noticed that all I'm really doing is a lot of cutting and pasting (and link-inserting) to this site, adding no original material whatsoever?
Does The Hubbub Editorial Board really have standards?
Does this Board really exist?
When am I really going to have my posting privileges shut down?

...or maybe NO ONE really reads this and I'm just talking to myself.

Did anybody notice that I italicized every instance of really?

Where it all began...

How it all began

Finally, Lasik surgery for the less than the price of new glasses

Affordable In-Home LASIK Surgery
You Can Do Yourself!

Dr. Khadim Brings Clear Vision to The People!

Nobody reads these anymore...

Click Here

A virtual pub crawl...

Grab a Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale, sit back and visit 8 of the 14 oldest bars in NYC from the comfort of your own home:

McSorley's Old Ale House
Chumley's
Ear Inn
Bohemian Hall
Old Town Bar
Waterfront Crabhouse
White Horse Tavern
Bridge Cafe

Today's Moment of Zen...

Click Here

Hubbub Beer Review: Yards Brewing Company's Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale

All I can say is "Yum!" And at $2 a bottle (case prices mind you) it had better be. Christ, that's what my parents pay for wine they serve to guests.

Even for a boorish, self-important beer snob like myself, thats a lot of money for a beer that doesn't include a view of a dance floor with a shiny floor-to-ceiling pole.

But, I bought it, I love it and I am now stuck as a $50 a case beer drinker, because this is probably my favorite domestic beer - and I am talking of all time.

Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale (TJ) is part of Yards Brewing Company's Ales of the Revolution - a collection of ales made from authentic recipes actually brewed by our founding fathers; Ben Franklin, General Washington and Thomas Jefferson (so much for Samuel Adams as our nation's preeminent brewer-patriot, Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, fathered probably scores of illegitimate children, and brewed a kick-ass beer, take that Sam Adams, you relatively insignificant historical figure!).

Where was I? Oh yeah, Yards is a small, craft brewery out of Philadelphia, that I hadn't heard of before, but produced this series of ales in partnership with Philadelphia's historic City Tavern. For me, that gave it enough credibility to throw it in the basket.

TJ turned out to be the beer aisle surprise of the year. It is a slightly carbonated, golden ale, brewed with honey and other ingredients specified by Jefferson himself for his semi-annual brewing at Monticello. TJ is bottle-conditioned, which means it actually finished its fermentation in the bottle you are drinking it out of. The result is a beer that tastes incredibly fresh, without a hint of aftertaste, and a tri-cornered hat popping 8% alcohol. Talk about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

If you can find this beer where you are, close your eyes, dig deep into your wallet, and buy it.

In closing, I hold this truth to be self-evident, Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale is freedom from the tyranny of watered down lagers and overly pale ales!

I give it an unprecedented five out five Poe kicks to the head.

A new blog is created every second of every day...

SURVEY: NEW MEDIA

From The Economist Apr 20th 2006

The era of mass media is giving way to one of personal and participatory media, says Andreas Kluth. That will profoundly change both the media industry and society as a whole.

For The Economist Magazine's Survey on New Media (Blogs!) in pdf form: Click Here

John Lennon 31st Birthday Home Movie - 1971...

Why, it's no different than one of those "west-of-the-Hudson" parties complete with a little Nietzsche Room action thrown in! See: John Lennon Birthday video
See also: Strawberry Fields Photo (NOT the one you're thinking of!)

Has anyone checked the latest "hubbub" over at...

Mack's Attic?

Interesting how my posting privileges haven't been turned off yet, isn't it?

My Last Post...

If The Hubbub is not a site for unrestrained freedom of expression, then it is the former Soviet Union's Pravda, an instrument of totalitarianism run by committees. I officially resign as of today and ask that my posting access privileges be shut down immediately. I end my short time here with these final contributions:

Information Wants To Be Free
Defending Freedom in the Digital World
Internet Free Speech
Thought Control Ramblings of a Hubbub Editorial Board member
My Case in Point (per that last link)


Above is a censored image of Muhammed from the episode Super Best Friends of South Park from Comedy Central's South Park.

Final Note: I may actually start posting on my own nearly 2 year old site now: Mack's Attic -- it has a very lean editorial staff and good healthcare benefits. While I'd love to have Mack's Attic included in The Hubbub's blogroll, I'm not holding my breath. Slante!

Today's Moment of Zen...

Click Here

What's our bottom line?

WSJ article: Can Bloggers Make Money?

The Cruel March of Time...

The writing skills of that pathetic jerk Mike Morrisson, 48, have atrophied over the years faster than the man has aged, most likely from the forced dumbing down required to gain street cred in those teenage chat rooms he spends countless hours in. He'll argue this isn't true but that's just ridiculous. Just ask him: "When was the last time you published something?"

Zurich's Snowman Stolen Week Ahead of Annual Spring Bonfire

April 19 (Bloomberg) -- Zurich's artficial snowman representing winter that's traditionally burned to mark the beginning of spring was stolen a week ahead of the annual bonfire in the center of town.

The snowman, made up of wood shavings, papier-mache and firecrackers, is placed at the top of the bonfire. The less time it takes for the snowman's head to be blown up after the wood stack is lit, the better the summer, the saying goes.

On Tuesday Zurich's daytime temperatures only reached a high of 11 degrees Celsius, 28 degrees below the high of 39 degrees reached on Monday, the day the snowman was reported missing.

One of the Brooklyn-born Hubbub co-founders (you know who you are) will like this link...

You too can recreate the 10th inning of Game 6 in the 1986 World Series

Has the Online Hubbub already hit its half life?!

What a successful blog is (and what we aren't...yet).

Good Article on Guy Lit Genre

With a focus on beer culture literature, including The Hubbub endorsed "Modern Drunkard."

Dude, Here's My Book

Escape Adulthood...

Click HERE!






Just kidding, Click HERE!!

The best movie scene I have ever seen...

Mr. Blume's chapel speech (from Wes Anderson's 1998 movie: Rushmore)

When will we hear from the creator of Arnold Halaby?

Do not click Here!

This is not Arnold Halaby

My God!...The Lost Unpublished Quebec story pages 5-11!

This unwieldy collaboration never got published in Fordham's alternative campus newspaper, The Paper, after a staff member lost the first 4 pages. Good luck deciphering the narrative; pages 5-11 are here:
My God!...THE LOST UNPUBLISHED QUEBEC STORY pages 5-11!

See also: Quebec Winter Carnival 1985: The Uncensored Photos

For my inspiration on the Subject title, see: The Compleat Steve (scroll down to Serious Dogs)

I still had the old business card!

The above art design and layout is the very fine work of Brendan E*****e (aka "The Cu***er") now of Phoenix. See also: I'm taking this thing with me to the desert!

Did you say "fart joke aficionados?"

Per the above Subject reference, see: The first Hubbub post
For my contribution to this cause, see: Heathrow Airport

If the sound doesn't work in the above document, try this link: Heathrow Airport Alternative Link

Give Up On Us Baby*

That 1976 One Hit Wonder
Bunch of Beers and a Hit on Friday...It's a Wonder

* This post references comments made in this previous post.

A long time ago at a college far, far away...

Star Trak: The 8mm Short Film
See also: Star Trak: The Outtakes

Morrissey's Rules Of Debate

1. Whether it is a casual or heated debate, always use personal attacks on your opponent as an integral part of your argument.

2. Occasionally forget and always mispronounce your opponent’s name.

3. Always make up facts to support your position.

4. When it is to your benefit, always deny your involvement regardless of the facts.

5. Insist that all points your opponent may raise are ridiculous and refuse further comment on the basis that it is a waste of your time.

6. Refuse to explain any points you may raise on the basis that they are too complicated for your opponent to understand.

7. Whenever your opponent quotes a statistic, insist that it is incorrect.

8. Occasionally interrupt to announce you weren’t paying attention, and ask your opponent to repeat himself.

9. If your opponent should happen to raise a valid point, insist that he was recently quoted as advocating the opposite position.

10. When appropriate, laugh out loud at any points or questions your opponent may raise, then ignore them completely.

Music Review: The Flaming Lips, "At War With the Mystics"

Where do you find giant pink balloons, people dressed in bunny costumes tossing confetti, fake blood and a large gather of folks performing Karaoki-style renditions of Black Sabbath's "War Pigs." Apparently, at a Flaming Lips concert, or at least that's what I found our when I stumbled across The Flaming Lips on "Austin City Limits" last Friday night.

I knew almost instantly I wasn't in for your typical Willie Nelson/Emmylou Harris country-tinged rock "Austin City Limits." This episode definitely had much more of an acid test feel to it. And since I was pretty hopped up on Hydrocodone following my "why would an adult do this" tonsillectomy, I was willing to invest a half hour in something a little funky. Even through narcotic-induced I could see the FLips (as their fans call them, I found out later)were different. There was no rock star smugness, no contempt for the audience, they laughed and joked with the audience, Christ, one of them even brought his father on stage to play saxophone. They acted like music was fun. With equal parts reverence and mockery, Flaming Lips leader, and David Koresh doppleganger, Wayne Coyne even breaks into a sing-along of "War Pigs", but not till he covers his face in fake blood. But the rendition is played seriously, you can see he and the band love the song, a guilty pleasure almost, because they know, that we know, that on some level, the song is great, but still silly. The duality of man, played out on public service country music television show.

OK so two sentences into to this review, you said "uh yeah, we know, where have you been for last decade?" Fair enough, the band has been around for more than a decade, with a not none-too small following I might add. So it took a while, but at least I found them, and as luck would have it just days before they were to release their new album.

I was excited, and feeling like I was on to something. I decided I need to catch up and fast. I would start with their last, and I assumed most relevant, release and work backwards. That meant "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots"(2002), back to the "The Soft Bulletin" (1999) and finally "Transmissions From the Satellite Heart" (1993). I had less than a week, no time for the EP's and live releases, major album stuff only. Working backwards, I fell in love with trippy,dreamy thematic "Yoshimi", the beautiful, surrealistic "Bulletin" and the rawer,more elemental rock of "Satellite Heart."

I am ready. Early morning April 4, a shot rings out in the Memphis sky. Just kidding. I will start again. April 4th, "At War With the Mystics" is released, and I promptly download it from iTunes. Spare me the "you need to own the vinyl" speech, I haven't touched a CD in two years, and haven't been in a CD-only store (is there still such a thing) in three. Besides you get 3 songs not on the CD, when you download it from iTunes, including a great version of "Bohemian Rhapsody".

The album begins with the single most annoying, stick-in-your-head mantra possibly of all time in "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song." Yes, they really do say Yeah, Yeah, Yeah over and over. Ultimately, however, the hook does bring you back (if your counting, that's 2 irrelevent song references I've squezzed into this papragraph, God I am a hack). "Free Radicals," is an apparent homage to Prince. Fun as it is as a farce, it's not a track you will wear a hole in your iPod listening to. The highlights of "Mystics" include "The W.A.N.D." which has a great heavy, groove to it and "Mr. Ambulance Driver" which is so drippy with 70's feeling, you'll swear the sirens in the background must be from an episode of "Emergency!" Where have you gone Randolph Mantooth?!

In the end, "At War With Mystics" lacks the track-to-track consistency that is the hallmark of a great album. Still, it remains a must for FLips fans, of which, I now count myself one. For those still un-baptised in the Flips musical font, I would suggest you start with "Yoshimi" and "Soft Bulletin," and save "Mystics" for those of us who have drank The Flaming Lips Kool-Aid and find it oh so sweet.

On Wednesday, April 5th, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06

Of course, this is only in America. For the rest of the world it will be 01:02:03 05/04/06, but seriously, does anyone care how they write the date in France? "America, Fuck Yeah!"

Empire's 50 Greatest Independent Films

Empire's 50 Greatest Independent Films

Use Google Maps to track zombies in your area - Lifehacker

Important! Read Now! Use Google Maps to track zombies in your area

The Best Song in The World!

A Single-Elimination, Battle Royale to determine the best song of the 21st Century.

The Best Song in The World

Excerpts from the Journals of . . .

Lou Gehrig
June 13,1930

I spent most of the day by myself. I've been trying to think of something to say for tomorrow, It's Lou Gerhig day at the stadium, I'm a little nervous. I'd rather be playing than talking. It's going to be a sad day. I think maybe I should make a fewjokes, poke fun at Ruth and the guys. Maybe even make fun of myself, that's always good for a laugh.

June 14, 1930

It was a flop. Nobody got it. I realize that I'm not known for being sarcastic, but I thought It was so obvious. I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Come on, that's funny. How could someone not think that's funny? I'm dying for Christ's sake. Hello? Anybody out there? Bunch of morons.


Sigmund Freud
April 14, 1882

I can't believe this Is working, it's so easy. I was telling Mrs. Schmit to talk about her dreams and fantasies, and she did! She told me about her desire to make it with her Father and her Uncle and all sorts of weird stuff. Man, she's a nut, of course I didn't tell her that. I pretended it was normal. Then she went on to tell me about some of her dreams, like the one about all the men offering her bananas, or the one where she's the scarecrow in a cucumber patch. And the best thing is she loves talking about it, I don't have to encourage her at all. Some of the things she talks about though are really strange, like her desire to suck a piano into her lungs, or to put her toes in her mouth. She ought to get some professional help. In any case, I've had such an erection all day. I love this job.


Henry David Thoreau
August 1, 1890

I hate this God damned job. I've decided to quit. I'd rather be a bum living in the woods, than working for that shit-for-brains asshole. Just talking about quitting makes me feel better. I'm definitely going to do It. Definitely.

August 13, 1890

1 can't believe I could be so stupid. What was I thinking? What am I supposed to do for money? What a jerk I am. Did I really think it wouldbe better to quit than to have a paycheck every two weeks? Now what am I going to do, be a bum living In the woods? You know that might not be such a bad idea. There's that old cabin by the pond. I could hang out all day smoking doobies and sucking beers. I could probably even write a book about it, you know getting back to nature and crap like that. Some stooge would buy it. I'd have to rely on my sister a lot, to bring me food, and clothes and otherstuff I'd need, but that's no big deal, she wouldn't mind.


September 5, 1890

I'm bored out of my mind. All I do is sit around all day, sticking my toes In my mouth. I don't think I'll be able to stay here much longer, my sister Is getting pissed about me mooching off her all the time. I was thinking about living out here for good, you know living by my wits, being self-reliant. It sounds good in theory, but I don't think It would work. Maybe I'll just go back and get a job. That sounds like the most sensible thing to do. I could use another beer.


Socrates
May 10, 12 (last entry)

I was called before the elders today. They reprimanded me for inciting the youth. I asked them "In what ways have I incited the youth?" They told me I was wrong to question them, to put ideas in their heads, to encourage them to develop without the guidance of experience. I asked them again "in what ways have I incited them?" They told me that my methods would upset the development of the future leaders of the world. I once again asked them "in what ways have I incited them?" They told me to shut up. Then they went on to criticize my leadership abilities, they said I should lead by example. I asked them "What better example could I set, than to ask when I do not know?" Again I was told to shut up. Blah, blah blah, this went on all day and whenever I wanted to defend myself or explain my position they told me to shut up. After all this they said they were going to put me in a headlock, oooh I'm shaking.

Marie Antoinette
July 13, 1787 (last entry)

I'm so excited! Lou and I just got back from Nice (it's so nice there) where we had the best cake we've ever had! I'm serious. It was light, moist and simply delicious. I suggested to Lou that we make it the official bread product of France. He agrees. We've even come up with a few slogans, we figured it would help in marketing the idea;

"Let Them Eat Cake!" "After Me, The Cake" "The More Things Change, The More The Cake Stays The Same."

"Its A Far Far Better Cake That I Eat, Than I Have Ever Known."

What do you think? That last one is a bit too English for me, but Lou likes it. The first two are my idea. Lou is not sure everyone will think they are as funny as we do, but I know the peasants have a sense of humor. There are a lot of people milling about outside, I'm going to go try out one of the slogans. I'll be back to let you know how it went.


by Mike Morrissey
May 1994

Much Ado About Beer

Famous quotes from the plays of William Shakesbeere.

From Dipseo and Juliet:

"Budweiser, Budweiser, wherefore art thou Budweiser? Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or if thou wilt not at least have a beer with me."

"A beer by any other name would still taste great."

"Our malt lies not in our stars, but in our beers."

"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is a bud Light!"

"A keg on both your houses!"

From Hamms, the Melancholy Brew:

“Neither a borrower nor lender be; And above all - For thine own self drink brew."

"Alas, poor Yorick. I know where he kept his warm cases.

"Get thee to a Brewery!"

"The beer's the thing. "

"Something is rotten in this keg from Denmark."

"Two beers or not two beers. That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous bar tabs, or take arms against a sea of potables and by opposing drink them."

"Last call makes cowards of us all."


From Julius Boozer:

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Buy me a Beer! I come to drink with Caesar, not praise him.”

"Beware the beers of birch!"

"Et tu, Brewski?"


From MacDuff:

"Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble - How many beers ‘til you see double?"

"Is this a lager l see before me - The handle toward my hand? Come let me drink thee."

From The Beer Merchant of Venice:

"All that glitters is not gold And all that's foamy is not beer."

"Hath not a beer frothy head? Hath not a beer malt, barley, hops? If you drink it, do you not belch?”


Fro As You Drink It:

"All the world is a bar and all the men and women merely patrons."


From Bender III:

"Now is the winter of our nickel beer nights."

“a beer! A beer! My kingdom for a beer!”


From The Tasting of the Brew:

“Kiss me Kate – we will be snockered on Sunday!”


From The Drunkest:

“Beers are such stuff as dreams are made on.”

In addition to such sudsy sonnets as “shall I compare thee to a mug of beer?” Shakesbeere penned dozen of other intoxicating quotes from such “spirited” plays as:

King Beer
Twelfth pack (or What You Swill)
The Tragedy of King John Barleycorn
All’s Ale That Tastes Swell
A Comedy of Bitters
Jigger for Jigger
COORSiolanus
The Beery Wives of Windsor
Tightand Igottapiss
And of course, the unforgettable, A midsummer’s Nightcap.

By Slag and Lichens

Welcome to The Hubbub - Blogger edition

The Hubbub

13 years ago, on the second floor of a two-family house in Clifton, NJ, a sporadic journal of the arts, literature, entertainment and psuedo-intellectuality was born. Though short-lived, The Hubbub's influence on the arts and beer community of southern Passaic County was immeasurable.

With this 'blog," we, the publishers of The Hubbub, welcome a new generation of beer and fart joke aficionados.

Welcome, and as they say in Clifton, "One frenchy one, two all the way!"